#i want to end my life
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What do you mean Fugo isn't coming back what do you mean he doesn't show up anymore FUGO PANNACOTTA FOR THE LOVE OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR GET ON THAT FUCKING BOAT RIGHT NOW OR I'LL SWEAR I'LL LOSE IT IF YOU DON'T SHOW UP IN THE NEXT EPISODE I WILL COMMIT A CRIME THAT WILL PUT ME IN JAIL PERMANENTLY SO I DON'T HAVE TO WATCH THIS SHOW WITHOUT YOU FUGO I SWEAR I FUCKING SWEAR FUGO WHEN I CATCH YOU WHEN I CATCH YOU FUGO-
#my friend: he doesn't show up anymore and i tell you now bc it'd be worse for you to watch this thinking he's coming back#i want to end my life#NOT THE ONE CHARACTER I LIKE#i mean i like all of them BUT NOT MY FAVORITE C'MON#i don't wanna keep watching#*keeps watching*#i know why he doesn't go with them like it fits his character perfectly#however. just. just turn him into a villain or something#OR KILL HIM#but he's literally ghosting me#i'm getting ghosted by a fictional character#jojo's bizarre adventure#pannacotta fugo
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i want to cut deep into my thigh and damage my skin so badly i end up in a hospital.
#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#actually borderline#vent#tw harm#tw sh#tw self destruction#tw self destructive behavior#tw sh implied#i want to end my life#suicidal tw#bpd blog#bpd fp#bpd thoughts#obsessive yandere#bpd#obsession#actually obsessive#glitcheneedlespost#im not ok#im depressed#depression thoughts#clinically depressed
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#putting this here in case anyone decides to go looking for more info about my particular guy here#1) soccer player 2) gay 3) started for italy met and got engaged to his future husband while there and adopted a girl#4) ends up spending the rest of his life in germany bc he got traded but he WAS able to get gay married there#because it's legal in germany and not italy. ENGAGED FOR LIKE 15 YEARS BTW!!!!!#5) husband dies at 110 and then my guy dies 7 years later also at the age of 110#6) I don't want to start a new life in the game because I played as him for hours and don't have the heart to wipe the slate clean#yusuf yacob you will always be famous. to me. sorry for making your penis injury gain interest#and sorry your mother died after being charged by a hippo
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i say if you’re gonna have the mysterious entities speak in rhyme you might as well commit (EDIT: part 2!)
(posting an unprecedented Part 1 of At Least 3 bc i actually have the entire script and most of the storyboarding for this done already)
#yknow. got an idea. had a breakdown. bon appetit#this was the creative impulse i was referring to on sunday#my art#secret life#secret life spoilers#slsmp#grian#geminitay#briefly#trafficblr#also#mostly bc i am proud of it and partly bc i want people to know it’s on purpose:#grian is not trying to rhyme at all in this part. he is being deliberately unhelpful#he lowkey tries to fuck it up on purpose in that second to last panel but the secret keepers just switch rhyme schemes#the one time he completes an end rhyme is because he lost his temper#anyway yeah this was motivated mostly by me wanting to see if i could do it
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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the feeling of being given up on by someone who fought tooth and nail to find you
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this is coming from the position of a student, so don't take my word as gospel, but i want to strongly encourage people to prepare for the coming years and look outward to find communities in real life. this can be big like getting involved in fundraisers or organizations or small like going to poc/queer/art social spaces and talking to people. making friends and connections will help you and others build support networks, something you will need as we enter the new term. i know talking to strangers in real life can be scary, unfamiliar, or difficult (depending on where you live especially) and it may take a lot of compromising and work –– and i don't want to condescend –– but we have to try starting now. this is about your safety and welfare, as well as the most vulnerable people's.
if leftists/progressives/minorities want to survive and beat back what's coming, we need to do our work offline too and take up space. an example of getting involved would be (if you're an artist) reaching out to fundraising organizers and making prints of your artwork to donate for raising funds.
#personal#this doesn't account for everyone but it's something to think about#also please be nicer to people. leftists especially on social media have a tendency to be mean in a very unconstructive way to each other#and i don't want to discount what they tend to be angry or mean about because it often does matter but i hope our first reaction toward#a dissenting opinion or behavior is a little grace instead of immediately dunking on each other for points#i'm also not saying online communities and spaces aren't any good for support but. it might not be enough. put the work in to prep yourself#it sucks how when right wingers lose they blame leftists. when leftists lose we blame each other.#leftists blame liberals and liberals blame poc voters and it can be completely true and warranted and then we all get killed#please resist doing that this time#be a friend; show some grace; look out for each other please#an example from my life would be i've been going to munches and queer/kink events and meeting friendly people#it's pretty tiring socializing and working through those interactions and by the end i'm also pretty tired#but it's worth it because not only do i know someone irl who's like me but if they're ever in trouble or need help#i can be a potential lifeline to them in an immediate way. and vice versa
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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Gem and the scotts vs the Mounders + scar finale
#secret life smp#slsmp#goodtimeswithscar#pearlescentmoon#smajor1995#bdoubleo100#impulsesv#smallishbeans#geminitay#gem and the scotts#the mounders#i hate the composition actually#but it was too late#and i wanted to get it done#anyways great ending#loved both teams#my art
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BigB is making me lose my mind.
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My buddy @salemoleander made a post going over all the weird stuff with BigB’s unusual Secret and it got my mind racing. The red icon... The isolating, grindy, antisocial task... The strange phrasing… Makes you think 👀
(Even if it turns out to be nothing I WILL be headcanoning lore about it hehehe)
#secret life#secret life smp#bigbst4tz2#bigb#bigb fanart#secret life fanart#secret life smp fanart#secret life Bigb#slsmp#trafficblr#floweroflaurelin art#mcyt#mcyt fanart#mcytblr#secret life spoilers#I’m Team BigB to win it!! or at least top 5#the text on the image is a line from his Secret task#text in the caption is Grian’s dialogue after being gaslit#my theory is that it has to do with the End. I think he was digging for the stronghold :3#I hope there’s more red Secrets next week I really want this to mean something
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Character design for Katara in Soundless.
#atla#zutara#avatar the last airbender#katara#atla art#atla fanfic#atla fanart#katara of the southern water tribe#katara art#katara fanart#atla katara#Soundless AU#Soundless (Uiscefhuaraithe)#Soundless AU art#zutara fic#zutara au#character design#Designing her was so much fun!!!#I wanted to play with a warmer color palette for Katara#Not much to say tho#I know I've been missing but I've got tests in college and... yeah#The joys of university life#Ugh#Also I've been thinking about a Blue Spirit!Katara and Painted Lady (Lord? Spirit? One? Help) Zuko AU#Another one for my never ending to-do list
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snoopy.exe 💻⌨🖱
Snoopy #10
11/10/2024
#peanuts#snoopy#art#10#gif#first gif!#wasn't sure about the frame timing but i think i settled on a good speed in the end#one thing about me is that i looooove a hand-drawn version of a digital interface#idk why but it's just so yummy to me. hand-drawn screenshots have me like (SICKOS voice) YES HA HA!#tbh i have no idea if an .exe file can even do that but whatever!#also notttt sure about that shade of yellow but yellow is my default and favourite colour sooooo#not pictured: the mouse cursor i briefly considered drawing before realising i didn't want to animate that LOL#imagine if british people spelled cursor like 'cursour'... it's giving ferb in the doofenperry kpop stan twitter au#also for once in my life the outlines are just proper black instead of off-black bc i think that's very computer interfacey
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Your husband has been having a severe case of the baby fever for a long time now. It started when he saw you taking care of your baby sister. The sight of you carrying the baby in your arms while you make her laugh made him desire to have one with you.
He's been planting small hints and clues that he is very much interested in having children with you. But you were still oblivious no matter how many hints he dropped. So he decided to take matters in his own hands.
“Um? Darling, we don't have a baby.” You say as you look over the things that you and your husband had bought during your shopping spree.
Your husband smiles mischievously. “But aren't they adorable?” He holds up a onesie for a baby for your inspection. Sure, it did look cute, but it was useless if you two did not have a baby to use it for.
You sigh, knowing he wants to hear you say yes. “I suppose it is...” You grace him with a small smile which makes him beam happily. “But my point still stands, we don't have a baby to use it on.”
He smirks as he puts down the baby clothes and walks to your side, leaning to kiss your cheek. “Not yet, we don't.” He purrs in your ear, his hot breath causes you to shudder involuntarily.
Your cheeks grow flush at the implication he is giving through his suggestive words. “What?” You decide it's best to play innocent first because you really didn't want to embarrass yourself if it was not what you think.
He chuckles as he tucks a loose strand of hair into the back of your ear. “You know what I mean, my love.” He gives you a dazzling smile. “I want to make one. Right now.” He pauses. “That is if you don't mind?” He asks softly, waiting for your response.
He seemed so desperate for it that you found it adorable. You nod in agreement. “Okay.” You respond softly, giving him your consent to continue as he pleases.
He did not waste anymore time as he immediately shoves you to the couch, his impatience showing evident in his quick movements. You yelp as you are immediately pinned down, his hand pinning both of yours above your head while his free hand starts dealing with his belt.
“Darling—” You gasp only for him to interrupt. “Hush.” He whispers, silencing you by pressing a lingering kiss on your soft lips as he finally managed to get the belt off. “Be quiet and let me take care of you.”
➷ ( characters ) — lante agriche , dion agriche , rezef hill , claude de alger obelia , anastacius de alger obelia , cesare de como , regis adri floyen , eiser grayan , eros vasilios , aamon paxley , jingyuan , kamisato ayato , izek van omerta , callisto regulus. ❀
➷ ( tags ) — @d10nsaint , @dreamlessnight @yourwholeworld @yumieis @im-in-love-with-fairytales , @synthe4u , @yoghurtsan , @luvyev. ( ask to be added to a specific taglist. ex: the first six people wanted to be tagged in dion agriche tagged fics hence their appearance. ) ❀
#{ ♡ heartstrings — fics }#manhwa x reader#the way to protect the female lead's older brother x reader#dion agriche x reader#lant agriche x reader#the villainess is a marionette x reader#rezef hill x reader#who made me a princess x reader#claude de alger obelia x reader#anastacius de alger obelia x reader#i'm the queen in this life x reader#cesare de como x reader#father i don't want this marriage x reader#regis adri floyen x reader#serena x reader#eiser grayan x reader#your throne x reader#eros vasilios x reader#mobile legends x reader#aamon paxley x reader#hsr x reader#jing yuan x reader#genshin impact x reader#kamisato ayato x reader#how to get my husband on my side x reader#izek van omerta x reader#death is the only ending for a villainess x reader#callisto regulus x reader#x female reader#x afab reader
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Blacked out in front of my tablet and woke up with sketches of my Touchstarved mc + Kuras my beloved. woops
#I found out dr. kuras is 6'6 I said hold on lemme get a stool so I can climb this man#touchstarved#touchstarved game#touchstarved kuras#kuras#sleepyscribble#oc.emma#my mc is meant to be a self insert but also like. I wanted to come up w a design and character arc and everything jkvkvk#so I ended up basing her on my personality/looks but taking her into a direction that would fit the game#she's like. me but 'characterized' and a bit exaggerated for the sake of being a character yk#the way she turned out is that she's basically a friendly happy go lucky mage who laughs at her own misery but hides#a deep layer of self loathing underneath all that bc of her curse#having been cursed all her life she believes she's a monster and the sunny personality is a way for her to 'make up for it'#but at the same time she feels like a farse. like she's only luring ppl in to an inevitable demise#and she thinks she's selfish bc despite knowing the danger she poses she still goes out there and puts herself among ppl#bc she craves human connection. even tho she feels guilty for 'indulging' in it#anyway I love the cursed mc concept in this game <3 it's been really interesting to think abt how that would affect someone#also I kept her physical features looking pretty much like mine#bc I wanted to draw myself in a cute way. teehee#but the clothing I was basically thinking like. early game simple clothing that she didn't rlly pick for herself#and maybe later I can have an updated design w something she would actually pick for herself
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siren!megumi concept sheet i whipped up in a single-minded fever state fr @uriekukistan
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#i don't know what is safe not to tag as spoilers bc in au you can explain his scars away any way u want#anyway i didn't plan on sharing this bc it was supposed to b a quick thing based on a gc discussion#but i ended up sm more proud of it than i anticipated. he has been living in my head ive dropped entire plans fr siren!megumi#i went from not having drawn a mermaid since 2013 to spending like 3 hours researching sailfish in a daze#all so i cld slap a proper tail on megumi dsghjfdgdf#it was between a marlin and a sailfish but sailfish won on account of megumi's fighting style being less abt brute strength#marlins r more acrobatic n agile apparently#if any marine biologists or fish enthusiasts follow me im sorry fr butchering the colours ik there is supposed to b more copper/yellow#but i made it green fr Megu reasons#i also think its so cool tht they can flash different colours. yoinking that fr megumi he lights up green when hes excited i make the rules#the scales on his torso being in the same areas as his post-canon sukuna scars is probably my fav detail :'>#was rly proud when i thought of that one#anyway im not planning on doing anything or turning this in2 a full au this ws just a design exercise but know that he is In My Brain Smile#yuuji abt 2 b banned fr life from his local aquarium who said that
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